We all are rats we live in holes

What's common between a man and a rat? You can keep thinking about it until you find it yourself or stumble on it as we go through narrow passages of our thoughts and end up in a hole. I wonder what this thought is and how it has been with us from the time we ate the apple from Eden's garden and then were thrown out of the garden because we thought we were naked and God thought we were full of knowledge. Since then apples have been all over the world and we have been accumulating knowledge of all kind as if we need to prove something to Almighty.

And now the perversion of thought, the experience of past and the accumulation of knowledge has put us in such a grove that we are unable to function freely at any moment. We are so careful and thoughtful in all our actions that our present is ruled by our past as our past was ruled by ancient trickle of dead memories and conditioned thoughts and we have done very well in passing them on from generations to generations.

The moment I say "let me give it a thought" means I no longer believe in the spontaneity of life and the magic of just being. I wonder what does this life mean if our perspectives have always originated as a result of holes created by our culture, history, religion, country, origin, gender and even by our names. I am sure we never see each other fully because we have lost the ability to see things as they are. The moment we look at someone we have our kaleidoscope of past ready for judgement and we see them through the holes of our convenience. Its so easy isn't it?

We have a ready made judgement for the whole world. Why give it a new observation at all? Its such a waste of energy? The moment we try a new observation, the moment a deeper thought is required, we are happy to let that pass away in our shallowness. Why open the Pandora's box? I guess its become our second nature to accept things the way they are and the moment someone has a new Idea, the moment our behaviours become non congruent to our established societies and cultures we are ready to fight a Holy War. We have climbed to the heights of conditioning and have dug deeper holes. No wonder we have expressions like "rat race", books like "Who Moved my Cheese" and names of music bands like "Boomtown Rats".

Its time we get out of our holes and look at each other with clarity of wholeness. This nature had always offered us with abundance. We don't need a rat race. We are Human beings we just need some observation, we just need few more smiles, we need more unconditional love, we need trust and all these expressions should have their newness which comes from the magic of spontaneity.

Life has been waiting outside the hole.

The beauty of wholeness: Integrity

When I was a child, I was sometimes tempted to stay back at home and play. However whenever I skipped my school either by lying or by faking my stomach ache, I always felt a guilt within me. I am not sure who put that guilt in me. When I think about those times I smile at myself coz my intentions I feel were innocent and I just wanted to play. The question which still remains unanswered is: Why skipping a school for a day should be bringing such a strong emotion as guilt in a child or was that a lie which caused all the problem. Even today when I fall sick and if I have to skip my office for a day, I still feel guilty and this bring me to a point when I picked up my dictionary to find out what does Integrity mean and how is it related to me? I have always found this word intriguing. As a word it has two definitions.

The first definition says: adherence to moral and ethical principles or Honesty. This is difficult to interpret coz moral and ethnic principles can vary and I might not adhere to the so called moral definition defined by someone else. So the question is if I do not follow your moral and ethnic principles then is my integrity questionable? As I observe I find most of the moral and ethical principles are the result of our social, religious and political conditioning. Though at the root level we will agree that my act shall not cause you any harm and we continue to maintain our mannerism in such a way that we can live peacefully with in a social structure.

The second definition gives me more fulfilling understanding. It says: The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished. Now this is really interesting. Now I am free to be who I am. It is my state of being whole. I act according to my wholeness. I find this very beautiful coz my expressions bring me into reality. My expressions allow me to find more and more of myself as I act with my wholeness. So as I learn and unlearn myself during my expressions I become more and more Integral.

Now is there a way I can act out of integrity? Am I not still within my wholeness if I am able to express myself in a way which is considered as non-Integral? So if my Integrity is my expression of wholeness, then this will also depend upon my level of awareness and consciousness of whole. The only time I can find myself acting out of my wholeness is when I am not aware of who am I and I don't care about the beauty of my wholeness.

Man and his Progression

I picked up my free copy of Metro as I ran down the escalator to join my family of tube commuters. I always feel for all these hard working people who have to be on their way to work when they could have sipped their coffee on the bed. I like the announcement when they say all underground services are running a good service. I smile at my luck and we both get on the tube.

"Cancer patient saved by judge" was the headline on the cover page of Metro. I read a little more to understand if judges have a role to play in NHS and I was surprised to know the doctors had refused to treat this person as this was a rare case and the drug involved was expensive. A real life example of modern dilemma "To give or not to give". Well I thought Life is a Life and It did deserve all respect and treatment if the person was keen on living. Good Judgement! was all I could say. Doctors might have been right too from their perspective. I wonder what I would have done under these circumstances? Will I have chosen death probably to see what's in there for me?

And then I read how Osain Bolt could have improved his 100 mts timings if he had not slowed down to start his celebration 15 mts before the finish line. I wish I could run as fast as him. I loved the way he finished his run. It was total celebration. I love him more for his celebration.

The other news which I have been following was the experiments with Large Hadron Collider which was seen as success and scientists say they are very close to creating the smallest matter called God Particles. This makes me feel man has really reached great heights of intelligence and research. I love all the progress, its nice and exciting.

I wish we also carried on some experiments on why so often our egoes have been colliding like free particles and can we find a way out from the black hole of hypocrisy. Can we create an environment where people of various color, nationality and faith could live in harmony? I wish we conducted experiments like "How to deal with yourself the way you are".

At one end we have reached greater success in science and technology and other end we have forgotten few basic human requirements. Its time we start tieing few lose ends. If we can create Large Hadron Collider we can also create some awareness among ourselves and take step towards more responsible living.

The wild and The wilderness

I run to the wild as I cross the grounds of distractions and prophesies of this world. I embrace all the beauty I see and I walk through my conditioning, erasing myself in bits and pieces.

I always loved erasers as a child, the nice round ones, the ones with animal faces, the ones which smelled nice and the ones which attached themselves at the end of the pencil. How wonderful to write something and then being able to erase it to write something new. How wonderful to be running in the wild and allowing the wild to write something new on you.

Is the run and the runner the same as the wild and wilderness? Is there a commonness in the act of erasing and the act of writing? Is it me who is erasing or is it me who is the writer or are we both the part of the wild? As the run continues, I feel the friendliness of the surrounding and the joyful presence guiding me. The runner starts to merge more with the running. The wild embraces him and he feels at home. The energy starts overflowing and the beauty finds a new expression. The conditioning fades away. Its the point where I know I am the eraser, the erased, the writer and the write up.

As I flow at this point of togetherness I see myself born again...wild and beautiful.